(Well maybe not the galaxy but we can probably start like on earth)
Hello and Welcome!
I am your host and writer of this post, Charley! I was diagnosed with ADHD (formally known as ADD) back when I was but a wee lass in elementary school. On top of that, I have shimmy shaken my neurodivergent butt into completing a Master’s Degree in Counselling Psychology as of December 2023. So, all this is to say I have had 26 years of “blissful”, unmedicated ADHD, with the added benefit of knowing about it from a young age.
I was very lucky to be diagnosed so young. I think it provided me with more patience with myself and what I would like to see as an esteemed sense of humour...although my mom calls it me being an ass. There was an understanding that things would not be easy; although it didn’t take the bite out of feeling like the messiest and most incapable person in the room I, at least, expected.
I understand especially now with more connections across varieties of different platforms, that more and more people in their adulthood are asking if they could have ADHD and often getting diagnosed in adulthood. It can be an overwhelming moment receiving a diagnosis. For some, it is the answer, for others an unlimited flow of questions followed by a “wait a second maybe I don’t just suck at doing certain life stuff maybe there is actually a chemical imbalance in my brain” or the “I knew I wasn’t just lazy!” (Side note: you were never lazy)
Maybe you're in the process of getting your child diagnosed and looking to support them which if you are, thank you, it does help to know. If your child was as obviously neurodivergent as I was, I'm sure you were pulling their head from being stuck between the wood bars and the mirrors in ballet class thinking “okay! alright!, maybe it's time for a referral”. The only thing worse than trying to unstuck your ADHD child from the ballet bars, is trying to unstuck your ADHD child while they're in tap shoes. “TAP…TAP TAP…TAP TAP TAP…..sorry mom…….TAPTAPTAPTAP”
Also not calling the kettle black here, but there are genetic components to ADHD with around a 50% chance if one of the parents having ADHD their child also having it. So if your diagnostic clinic happens to be doing a two for one sale at some point..maybe..ah..look into it...for either yourself, your partner(S) or biological parent of your kids. Get a coupon code, bring the family.
Knowing has power and understanding yourself a bit more is a gift, even if you feel like you're the one paying for it. If your boat has holes, it's better to know and be upset than to not know and find yourself in the water. And just because your boat is sinking doesn’t mean she’ll never be seaworthy.
So Captain, what do we do?
Dock the boat ashore
Examine the underbelly.
Take a moment for yourself, allow yourself to mourn, grieve, be mad, get upset, feel relieved, feel happy. Feel the feelings that are coming up, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Examine the effects it's caused, maybe the damage, maybe the benefits, and try not to judge or create opinions.
It's just a boat, it's just wood, you can’t hate the wood, it's just trying to do its job. And our boat may have some holes in the belly, and may have some bumps and cracks, weathered by the storm.
But just because your boat has holes in it doesn’t mean she’ll never be seaworthy. There will be some work to do. Now go find a bucket.