7 Reasons Couples Therapy Is Worth It
One of the most common questions we get from clients during our free consultation calls is; is couples counselling worth it. YES! Without hesitation, my answer is always YES!
People have many reasons they search for therapy in their relationship and truthfully your definition of “worth it” may be different than mine. My answer when anyone asks me about if/ why they should start therapy is always the same. Investing in yourself is always worth it.
Here Are 7 Ways To Determine If Couples Therapy Is Worth It For You
1. You Want Help Resolving A Specific Conflict Or Issue
Often couples decide to seek out therapy after a certain conflict arises. A therapist can help by acting as a mediator of sorts to get to the heart of the issue and work with the couple to develop a resolution that is comfortable for both parties. Often times when we are stuck on a conflict we need someone to help us see our blind spots. A therapist can help identify core values and beliefs and help to find common ground in the midst of what feels like irreconcilable differences.
2. You Want Help Communicating And Learning To Problem Solve
Improving communication and learning to problem solve is one of the top reasons couples cite at the beginning of their therapy journey.
Let’s face it, conflict is inevitable. When we understand how to communicate our needs, listen and respond to our partner’s needs and come up with comfortable solutions together we can learn to lean into communication rather than avoid it.
I like to think about communicating in a relationship as cooking a meal from a recipe book. Sure you can throw some random ingredients into a pan and hope for the best, but if you follow the recipe you will likely end up with a great meal.
Similarly, in therapy you can learn to identify the ingredients, preparation and cook time for a successful communication outcome.
3. You Want Help To Decide Whether Or Not You Should Stay Together
This can be a very difficult topic to navigate on your own. In therapy, you can be challenged to reconnect, communicate, and see if it is possible to rebuild the foundation you once had.
Sometimes this process also makes it clear that you and your partner are ready to follow your own paths and build separate foundations.
Therapy is not just about fixing problems, it can also be about finding hope in new beginnings.
4. You Want Help Developing Co-Parenting Strategies
Communication, problem solving, and conflict resolution skills are not only important when a couple is together. After a separation or divorce many couples have to navigate another step in their relationship; co-parenting. Therapy can help couples to develop the communication and compromise needed to successfully co-parent.
5. You Want Regular, Routine Maintenance To Keep Your Partnership As Strong As It Can bBe
The best time to seek therapy is when you don’t have a “problem”.
Let that sink in for a second.
Therapy is great at any time you may utilize it, but it is the BEST when you are coming just because you want routine maintenance.
Therapy can be a great way to release regular tensions and check in with how you are doing. Prevention is the best way to avoid problems!
6. You Want Help To Uncouple
If you have decided that you are not going to continue in your partnership, therapy can help you uncouple. Uncoupling means to undo or unlearn the way you were in a partnership. Typically this happens on an individual level, but it can also be helpful to develop a separation strategy to assist both parties in letting go in a healthy way.
7. You Want Help Rebuilding Trust
The most common reason for couples to consider separation is because of a betrayal of trust. Trust is about having the courage to take something important to you and make it vulnerable to the actions of someone else. If your trust has been broken or damaged by your partner it can be incredibly difficult to give it back to them.
In therapy, you can learn how to identify your needs and work on ways to reconnect and rebuild the trust you once had.
Getting started can often be the hardest part. Here is a quick glimpse of what happens at couples counselling during your first session.
Your therapist will spend some time getting to know you and your partner and the reason that you are seeking therapy.
You may build some goals for therapy and develop a plan for the next few sessions.
Your therapist may ask questions about your family history (for example if your own parents were divorced).
Your therapist will talk about good things too! The session won’t be entirely focused on the “problem” but will also spend time on things that are working well. This helps the therapist get a sense of your relationship as a whole.
Most importantly, your therapist will help you to identify this as a safe space. This may include setting some ground rules for your sessions like no name calling or foul language.
Always remember, therapy is a great tool to help you understand and navigate your challenging areas. If you are interested in learning more about relationship therapy, check out our website.